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	<title>The Homeless Moon &#187; Justin</title>
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		<title>Favorite Reads 2011</title>
		<link>http://homelessmoon.com/hm/favorite-reads-2011?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=favorite-reads-2011</link>
		<comments>http://homelessmoon.com/hm/favorite-reads-2011#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:34:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[2011]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s December. You can expect some year end posts. Here&#8217;s my list of 10 favorite reads from this past year. 1. The King Must Die by Mary Renault: A historical novel set in ancient Greece retelling the early life of Theseus up to his killing the minotaur and returning to Athens. It walks a fine [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=10badhabits.com&#38;blog=25102014&#38;post=568&#38;subd=10badhabitsdotcom&#38;ref=&#38;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s December. You can expect some year end posts. Here&#8217;s my list of 10 favorite reads from this past year.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">1. <em>The King Must Die</em> by Mary Renault</span>: A historical novel set in ancient Greece retelling the early life of Theseus up to his killing the minotaur and returning to Athens. It walks a fine line between the real and the fantastic because while nothing &#8220;magical&#8221; happens, the characters believe their world is magical.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">2<em>. God&#8217;s War</em> by Kameron Hurley</span>: Probably the most recently published book on this list. Some people have a problem with science fantasy. I don&#8217;t. This read like a hybrid of China Mieville and Anne McCaffrey. If that doesn&#8217;t sound great then I don&#8217;t even want to hear it. In a way it recalled the 1970s when genre lines weren&#8217;t so fiercely defined. I&#8217;ll probably read the sequel <em>Infidel</em> when I&#8217;m home next month.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">3.<em> The Last Days</em> by Brian Evenson</span>: An absurdly violent detective novel about a cop infiltrating a cult of extreme self-mutilators. This is one of those books that grabs you by the collar and doesn&#8217;t let go. Not for the squeamish.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">4.<em> Warlock</em> by Oakley Hall</span>: A western with an introduction by Thomas Pynchon. Hall is one of those &#8220;writer&#8217;s writers&#8221;, I think. He never was popular but he worked in popular genres. (I&#8217;ll also track down his Ambrose Bierce detective novels when Stateside.) This reminded me some of <em>Deadwood</em>, but it probed more into the American habit of making heroes of violent men.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">5.<em> I Was Looking For A Street</em> by Charles Willeford</span>: Willeford&#8217;s memoir of being a freight riding runaway during the Depression. Parts are heart-breaking, but other parts show a compassion for humanity in all our absurdity.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">6<em>. Freaks&#8217; Amour</em> by Tom De Haven</span>: Another disturbing and violent book. It read like <em>Sid &amp; Nancy</em> meets Tod Brownings&#8217; <em>Freaks </em>or Philip K. Dick meets punk rock. Take your pick. Mutant entertainers try to survive in a world that despises them. The book&#8217;s a weird relic of the 1970s and the Cold War, but oddly relevant. The most likable character is a drug-dealer who sells mutant goldfish eggs.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">7. <em>The Friends of Eddie Coyle</em> by George Higgins</span>: <a href="http://10badhabits.com/2011/11/26/its-a-grubby-violent-dangerous-world-but-its-the-only-world-they-know/">I blathered about this one before.</a></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">8. <em>Flanders</em> by Patricia Anthony</span>: A magic realist novel set in the trenches of World War One? Maybe. <em>The Last Temptation of Christ</em> meets <em>Goodbye To All That</em>? An American sniper in World War One slowly begins to crack due to combat stress and the homicidal tendencies of his fellow soldiers. While in No Man&#8217;s Land he begins to see visions of the dead and those about to die.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">9. <em>The Double Shadow</em> by Frederick Turner</span>: A lost classic of the New Wave? It&#8217;s a shame Turner didn&#8217;t write more SF. He might have won a name for himself as a peer of M. John Harrison, Samuel R. Delaney, and Gene Wolfe. (Though he did go on to a career as a poet and teacher.) On a terraformed Mars the scions of two royal families engage in a status war fought with aesthetics and style. Even if the book was meant as a critique of an emergent culture of narcissism, it still works as an SF novel. Definitely worth tracking down.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">10<em>. Memoirs of a Spacewoman</em> by Naomi Mitchison</span>: The Spacewoman in question is a communications officer / ambassador / diplomat in a future utopian society.  There&#8217;s little in the way of plot and &#8220;thrills&#8221;, but a lot of wonder as she recounts her experiences from a life time of alien contact.</p>
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		<title>A Brief History of Tea</title>
		<link>http://homelessmoon.com/uncategorized/a-brief-history-of-tea?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=a-brief-history-of-tea</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Sep 2011 13:49:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[delicious]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Buddhist monks invented tea thousands of years ago in what is today southwestern China. These monks lived atop the mountains and found the beverage improved their ability to meditate over long periods of time. Also it complimented their other super-powers. Soon the habit spread throughout the lowlands, and in the 7th century Lu Yu wrote [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=10badhabits.com&#38;blog=25102014&#38;post=323&#38;subd=10badhabitsdotcom&#38;ref=&#38;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Buddhist monks invented tea thousands of years ago in what is today southwestern China. These monks lived atop the mountains and found the beverage improved their ability to meditate over long periods of time. Also it complimented their other super-powers. Soon the habit spread throughout the lowlands, and in the 7<sup>th</sup> century Lu Yu wrote his now famous panergeric to the beverage, <em>A Fistful of a Cup of Tea</em>. People became ecstatic &#8212; so much so that when Lu Yu died he became God.</p>
<p>Centuries passed.</p>
<p>The first westerner to have drunk tea was the north African traveler Ibn Battuta who traveled to India in search of a job. He was impressed by how the beverage invigorated the spirit and increased energy.</p>
<p>After watching one too many of his coworkers get torn apart by angry elephants, Battuta decided to return home. When he got there no one believed a beverage like tea could possibly exist.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until George Orwell wrote his seminal essay, <em>Tea</em>, after singlehandedly defeating the forces of Spanish Fascism, that the English stopped drinking boiled mud and adopted the habit.</p>
<p>The rest is more or less history.</p>
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		<title>“Your Mother” Goes Wild With Space Squid</title>
		<link>http://homelessmoon.com/hm/%e2%80%9cyour-mother%e2%80%9d-goes-wild-with-space-squid?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=%25e2%2580%259cyour-mother%25e2%2580%259d-goes-wild-with-space-squid</link>
		<comments>http://homelessmoon.com/hm/%e2%80%9cyour-mother%e2%80%9d-goes-wild-with-space-squid#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Sep 2011 12:26:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[plugz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pubs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[space squid]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[
I have a story in &#8220;Space Squid Gone Wild: The Best Comics, Stories, and Features From Five Years of America&#8217;s Favorite Unknown Zine.&#8221;
My story is all about &#8220;Your Mother&#8221;.
E-Book is only 2.99USD!!!
Actuate a copy for yours...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://10badhabitsdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/spacesquid.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-299" title="spacesquid" src="http://10badhabitsdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/spacesquid.png?w=590" alt=""   /></a></p>
<p>I have a story in &#8220;Space Squid Gone Wild: The Best Comics, Stories, and Features From Five Years of America&#8217;s Favorite Unknown Zine.&#8221;</p>
<p>My story is all about &#8220;Your Mother&#8221;.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Space-Squid-Gone-Wild-ebook/dp/B005JCY0LY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1316261802&amp;sr=8-1">E-Book is only 2.99USD</a>!!!</p>
<p>Actuate a copy for yourself today!</p>
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		<title>Control</title>
		<link>http://homelessmoon.com/uncategorized/control?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=control</link>
		<comments>http://homelessmoon.com/uncategorized/control#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Aug 2011 13:46:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[fetish of the failed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[note to self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polemics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soapboxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I’m not a fan of writing posts, especially those written by unpublished, self-published, and/or “neo-pro” writers. Nor am I fan of &#8220;celebrity slushreaders&#8221; going on about how they dream a story they select might win a Nebula like they were right there writing the story beside the author, or at the very least keeping their [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=10badhabits.com&#38;blog=25102014&#38;post=194&#38;subd=10badhabitsdotcom&#38;ref=&#38;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m not a fan of writing posts, especially those written by unpublished, self-published, and/or “neo-pro” writers. Nor am I fan of &#8220;celebrity slushreaders&#8221; going on about how they dream a story they select might win a Nebula like they were right there writing the story beside the author, or at the very least keeping their tea mug filled, as if reading slush wasn’t the equivalent of being so much human baleen.</p>
<p>Bullshit on all that.</p>
<p>But I’ve got two writing posts itching to get off my fingers so let me just get them done between now and next week and then I won’t have to write about writing or slushing for the rest of the year. I&#8217;m putting it here for my own benefit as much as anyone else.</p>
<p>People talk a lot about hooks and openings and grabbing the reader so they keep on reading. And yeah I use the word hook as well, but it’s not about that at all. (Rudy Rucker has a great bit on “hooks” in his <a href="http://www.rudyrucker.com/writing/">Writer’s Toolkit, which everyone should download</a>.)</p>
<p>Other folks talk about establishing trust between reader and writer, and I agree with them but wondered how that trust was gained because it has to be right at the start. Then I got a couple stories in the slush this week that helped me figure it out.</p>
<p>What it comes down to is control.</p>
<p>You can do whatever you want in your story. Write it lush or transparent. Climb Freytag’s pyramid or flip it on its peak and kick it in the rear. Anything goes as long as you’re in control.</p>
<p>As long as each word and sentence connects to the next word and sentence and the whole thing makes a pattern where there’s nothing more you can subtract from it. That’s control. Having pieces left in your hand at the end is control.</p>
<p>What’s not control is starting your story with a well-groomed hook and then piling on introspection, backstory, and/or setting details. What’s not control is leaving nothing out, but throwing it all in there and hoping for the best. Lush doesn’t mean overgrown or overwriting a story so thick it collapses under its own weight.</p>
<p>Every word must link together. They can be ugly or oddly shaped words, but they have to fit into the story’s overall pattern (and of course that pattern can be all freak-a-deak weird, but there has to be some discernable resonance there).</p>
<p>That’s it. Writing post number one is done. It’s all about control.</p>
<p>Next week 10 Bad Slush Habits. Until then here’s Spoek Mathambo’s disturbing cover of Joy Division’s “She’s Lost Control”. Don’t blame me if it gives you nightmares.</p>
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		<title>Five Authors / Five Questions</title>
		<link>http://homelessmoon.com/uncategorized/five-authors-five-questions?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=five-authors-five-questions</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Aug 2011 02:01:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shimmer magazine]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Shimmer Magazine included me in their &#8220;Five Authors / Five Questions&#8221; series. Question number one was &#8220;How do you begin a story? Does it start with the idea, a character, an image, a line of dialogue, or are all stories different?&#8221; Click here to read my answer. Thanks to E. Tobler and the rest of [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=10badhabits.com&#38;blog=25102014&#38;post=145&#38;subd=10badhabitsdotcom&#38;ref=&#38;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.shimmerzine.com/">Shimmer Magazine</a> included me in their &#8220;Five Authors / Five Questions&#8221; series. Question number one was &#8220;How do you begin a story? Does it start with the idea, a character, an image, a line of dialogue, or are all stories different?&#8221;<a href="http://www.shimmerzine.com/2011/08/10/five-authorsfive-questions-beginnings/"> Click here to read my answer</a>.</p>
<p>Thanks to E. Tobler and the rest of the Shimmer crew for including me.</p>
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		<title>My New Rule</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Aug 2011 05:42:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[note to self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polemics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I’m posting this here for my own benefit. You are free to take, leave, or modify this rule as you see fit, but this is how I want to live. The proper response to a book or short story* is not a blog post about the injustice of the book or story’s existence or why [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=10badhabits.com&#38;blog=25102014&#38;post=140&#38;subd=10badhabitsdotcom&#38;ref=&#38;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m posting this here for my own benefit. You are free to take, leave, or modify this rule as you see fit, but this is how I want to live.</p>
<p>The proper response to a book or short story* is not a blog post about the injustice of the book or story’s existence or why it is just so WRONG WRONG WRONG, but to write another book or story addressing the very issues bothering you.</p>
<p>If it’s a story that makes you angry then write a story fueled by that anger. If you think the author glossed over important details, then by all means create something that widens the scope or changes the perspective. If the story reduces the argument to simplistic terms, then write a story that forces the work back to address a wider spectrum.</p>
<p>Don’t write an angry blog post. Don’t leave a comment. Don&#8217;t rattle a saber because you like the way it sounds. Don’t put a chip on your shoulder just to have one there.</p>
<p>Yes. It may be difficult to place that story. It may run counter to prevailing tastes or whatever clique happens to be dictating what’s in fashion these days. Don’t let this stop you. Write the story anyway. Write it with that passion that your words need to be said. Write it like you would that blog post.</p>
<p>But write the story. Articulate your position in prose. And if you decide to post the story online, then make it your blog post.</p>
<p>The best reaction to a thing you disagree with is not a defensive reaction but to create another, better, thing. Explore the initial position, attack it, subvert it, twist it to your own ends, but make something new.</p>
<p>Let the emotion fuel better work, not add to the online noise.</p>
<p>* I’m keeping it limited to fiction because it takes a lot of time and money to make a movie/TV show, and if it’s a comment online that’s making you angry, well, take a deep breath, take a step back, maybe see if you need to clean out the hair-trap in your shower, walk the dog, do the dishes, go to a different webpage, because it&#8217;s an online comment and all you need to shoot one of those into the ether is a lizard brain and a twitchy finger hovering near the return key.</p>
<p>Make something new.</p>
<p>Make something better.</p>
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		<title>The Homeless Moon 4: Chapbook Available</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Jul 2011 06:12:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chapbook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Over the town roamed the homeless moon, and I wandered along after her, warming up in my heart impracticable dreams and disordant songs.&#8221; &#8211; Isaac Babel Elsewhere online some friends and I share a group blog. Since 2007 we have put out a chapbook each year at ReaderCon. This year&#8217;s no different, only all the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=10badhabits.com&#38;blog=25102014&#38;post=34&#38;subd=10badhabitsdotcom&#38;ref=&#38;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://10badhabitsdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/hm4-cover.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-35" title="hm4-cover" src="http://10badhabitsdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/hm4-cover.jpg?w=162&#038;h=250" alt="" width="162" height="250" /></a><em>&#8220;Over the town roamed the homeless moon, and I wandered along after her, warming up in my heart impracticable dreams and disordant songs.&#8221;</em> &#8211; Isaac Babel</p>
<p>Elsewhere online some friends and I share a <a title="group blog" href="http://homelessmoon.com/">group blog</a>. Since 2007 we have put out a chapbook each year at ReaderCon. This year&#8217;s no different, only all the stories are set in a shared universe. Copies will be available at ReaderCon or you can download them in <a href="http://homelessmoon.com/homeless_moon_chapbook4.pdf">PDF</a>, <a href="http://homelessmoon.com/homeless_moon_chapbook4.prc">PRC</a>, and <a href="http://homelessmoon.com/homeless_moon_chapbook4.epub">EPUB</a> formats.</p>
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		<title>Fritz Leiber Is Like Love and Rockets</title>
		<link>http://homelessmoon.com/hm/fritz-leiber-is-like-love-and-rockets?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=fritz-leiber-is-like-love-and-rockets</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Dec 2010 11:53:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leiber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love&rockets]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Fritz Leiber would have been 100 years old today, and I'd like to think that somewhere people are gathered in a ChiChis celebrating. Not likely since it’s Christmas Eve but I can hope.  I'm sure no one argues with Leiber's place in genre history, but...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Fritz Leiber would have been 100 years old today, and I'd like to think that somewhere people are gathered in a ChiChis celebrating. Not likely since it’s Christmas Eve but I can hope. <br /> <br />I'm sure no one argues with Leiber's place in genre history, but I'll be honest and say that he wasn’t an author I took to from the first. Sure I'd played enough D&D to be familiar with the name, settings, and characters from the Fafhrd and Gray Mouser stories, but when I first read them they left me less than engaged. Yeah, I dug "Thieves' House" and "Claws from the Night", but even the good bits were over my head and the prose lacked what I can only describe as the purple quality I craved. <br /><br />Leiber was unlike any Fantasy fiction I had encountered before. He was something else, something weirder, and more than a bit dangerous, like sneaking a shot of whiskey from my parents liquor cabinet. I'd tried it and thought it wasn't for me, going my way without realizing how much my tastes would change six or seven years later.<br /><br />When I was in my 20s and living in Jersey City, I bought one of those slim paperbacks that had the word "sword" in the title. One story had the two heroes go on a fishing trip and engage in dubious philosophy, another told what happened when they decided to live together and the misadventure that resulted. The stories showed real life writ as adventure fiction. I got where Leiber was coming from, and every now and then, say waiting for a bus in Chinatown, I'd look at the weather-aged buildings of lower Manhattan, and, if I squinted, I'd see Lankhmar. (It's likely for reasons like this that M. John Harrison wrote "A Young Man's Journey to Viriconium" and <a href="http://www.fantasticmetropolis.com/i/viriconium/" rel="nofollow">"What It Would Be Like to Live in Viriconium"</a>. Get treatment, indeed.)<br /> <br />Something similar happened with the comic book <i>Love and Rockets</i>. <br /><br />I’d been to enough specialty comic shops growing up to recognize the Hernandez Bothers' work, but it wasn't until college when a friend sat me down with a stack and told me to "Read!” that I got hooked. <br /><br />Now if you've never read <i>Love and Rockets</i>, I'm not about to try and describe the series to you. To the point of this post, the Hernandez Brothers in <i>Love and Rockets</i> mix life and genre in such a way that you're never quite certain where one ends and the other begins. They'll take real life and recast it as superhero comics (or they 'll take superhero comics and recast it in the mold of real life -- I'm not sure it matters). It's a bit hard to describe, but you know how everyone in your family approaches a mythic archetype in your mind? It's a bit like that. The Palomar stories or the misadventures of Penny Century, and how life happens to Maggie and Hopey, all these things sweep you along and somewhere there you see yourself and where you came from and the people you know. <br /><br />That's what I was also getting from Leiber.<br /><br />In “The Life of the Mind” Hannah Arendt says “there is nothing in an ordinary life that cannot become food for thought”, and I’d say that’s the quality that links Leiber and the Hernandez Brothers. They’re exploring ordinary life in their work. <br /><br />It's only their personal preference for the extraordinary that makes their work into genre.<br /><br />(Yeah, I know there's a lot more to Leiber than the sword & sorcery stories. Folks interested in his stuff should check out his horror fiction. In particular <i>Our Lady of Darkness</i> is a favorite, though it's hard to pick one especially when set beside <i>Conjure Wife</i> and <i>The Sinful Ones</i>.)]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Bullies, or Who Stole My Ukulele? (2)</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Dec 2010 11:29:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[bullies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[travel light]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[who stole my ukulele]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Continuing with the bullying posts... ( Part 1 can be read here.)I'll posit that there are two types of bullies, whether or not they are exclusive entities from each other or simply two aspects of one behavior I'm not too worried about at the moment. F...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Continuing with the bullying posts... <br />(<a href="http://justinhowe.livejournal.com/329154.html"> Part 1 can be read here</a>.)<br /><br />I'll posit that there are two types of bullies, whether or not they are exclusive entities from each other or simply two aspects of one behavior I'm not too worried about at the moment. For want of better terms I'll call one the Predatory Bully and the other the Herd Bully. <br /><br />Also as I go through and put my students’ behavior under the microscope don’t imagine that I’m holding myself separate or above them. Too often I've encountered myself while dealing with my students. <br /><br /><u>The Predatory Bully</u><br /><br />You know the phrase "I wouldn't cross the street to pee on so-and-so even if they were on fire". It's generally used to show one's level of contempt and loathing at another person. Well, the predatory bully is the opposite of them.<br /><br />They'd cross the street to pee on you simply because you're having a nice day.<br /><br />These are the people who can’t bear to see others happy or having a good time without feeling the need to stop and crush it for no reason other than their, the bullies, own desire to get back at the world because they’ve been bullied themselves. As an adult the predatory bully might simply be a criminal, but he or she could also be the type to destroy a person's enthusiasm in order to boost their own egos. (In a recent blog post the writer Robert Twigger gave these folks the sci-fi sounding name of <a href="http://www.roberttwigger.com/journal/2010/11/30/high-energy-v-wrong-energy.html" rel="nofollow"> "Energy Pirate".</a>)<br /><br />The worst male bully at one of my schools is this type.<br /><br />He’s a small kid who I suspect is quite smart but he has learning disabilities (ADHD and possibly dyslexia) that make school and sitting still difficult, an older and also small for his age brother that is himself bullied at his school and subsequently comes home and bullies his brother, my student, and both of whom live a hand-to-mouth existence that’s likely one stroke -- they live with their grandmother -- away from them being homeless. To say the kid has issues is an understatement, but to empathize with his plight is one thing, to tolerate his behavior is another. <br /><br /><u>The Herd Bully</u><br /><br />Another common type that shows up regularly among male and female students, these are the bullies whose insecurities get the better of them. These are also the bullies we encounter most often as adults as they police societal norms. <br /><br />The worst female bully is this type.<br /><br />She’s smart and talented, but lacks the confidence to be her own person, so she’s made herself the Number 2 in her clique which is the alpha-clique in her class. If she perceives any threat to her position, she’s quick to lash out and, with her words, get the group against the offending person. If someone is in a weaker position and she thinks she can get away with it, she’ll exploit it in an effort to shore up her own position or if doing so will elevate her own status. It’s a bit sad to see on a number of fronts. The fact that she's lived abroad gets exploited by the other students who say she’s not Korean but Canadian (actually they says “She is Canada-people”), so it’s easy to see where her insecurity comes from. <br /><br />I've learned it’s a rare student who has the confidence to go along with their excellence. Hell, it’s a rare person who has the two hand in hand. But again, it's one thing to empathize, it's another thing to tolerate. In both these cases the student's teacher has stepped in and actively tried to right both these behaviors. From what I've noticed the teacher has been successful.<br /><br />On a side note, a lot of people talk about the differences between “Eastern” and “Western” mind-sets, and I think too much gets made out of this. Yeah, personality is a cultural construct, and group identity might be stronger in the “East”, and the “West” tolerates more overall, if superficial, atomization among its populace, but both cultures have their norms and to be perceived as somehow outside the norm allows oneself to be open to attack. It’s a rare bully that exists in isolation and even wolves have packs. So regardless of culture one lesson most people learn early in life is that it’s best not to stand out but stay within the group, or within the limits that the group deems appropriate. <br /><br />This is why I find this stuff fascinating because it's not like it goes away. The schoolyard bully remains with us, as does the hurt experienced by the bully's victim, and as adults these experiences determine our character and behavior in so much as we operate without self-awareness and run on autopilot letting our accumulated assumptions and default settings guide our actions. <br /><br />Up next, the workplace! And finally, the Ukulele Story!  <br /><br />And in case any of you are currently being bullied, here's a video one of my students showed me.<br /><br />Remember, never underestimate the kick to the groin!<br /><br /><lj-embed id="81" /><br /><br />(Actually my student showed me the Korean-dubbed version. It was like they went to central casting and found an Italian "hood" and taught him Korean.)]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Bullies, or Who Stole My Ukulele?</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Dec 2010 04:53:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[bullies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[travel light]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[who stole my ukulele]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[This is going to be an at least three part series of posts on bullying as witnessed over the last year that I'll relate to bullies in the workplace and their contribution to overall workplace toxicity levels. That'll be the Ukulele Story.But for now I'...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[This is going to be an at least three part series of posts on bullying as witnessed over the last year that I'll relate to bullies in the workplace and their contribution to overall workplace toxicity levels. That'll be the Ukulele Story.<br /><br />But for now I'm going to talk about bullying in an abstract fashion.<br /><br />It’s been interesting dealing with kids this past year because after all kids are people with the same drives and emotions as adults except without the psychological masking, rationalizations, or experiential framework to guide their behavior. As most people know bullying is not something that goes away as people get older, but something one encounters too often even if it's masked beneath other names.<br /><br />What surprised me over this past year was noticing how not all kids reacted to bullying in the same way. <br /><br />With my first and second graders it was hard to distinguish bullying as separate from the general tumult of their experience. The exception being when say a fifth grader started bullying a second grader, but even then the second grader's ego was more malleable and likely to bounce back without damage because there was less cruft accumulated around the wires. Then around about the fourth grade things started to get different. By then the personality/ego/whatever had become more fixed and bullying became more perilous, and one was apt to embrace it as the norm and let it shape behavior. <br /><br />After that, puberty comes along and all this ego/identity posturing ramps up and gets really weird.<br /><br />Take all this with a grain of salt. I’m not a behavioral psychologist, nor am I positing a cut and dry series of developmental stages. Basically all I’m saying is younger kids bounce back from bullying better than older kids, because younger kids have a less fixed attachment to their sense of self. It's not really a groundbreaking observation, but it did get me thinking.  <br /><br />For visualization purposes imagine a stick.<br /><br />That's the sense of self. A little kid can encounter something threatening to the stick and let go of it easily before grabbing the stick in the same place or elsewhere soon after the event. An older kid, a teen, or an adult when they lose their handle on the stick it takes a lot longer for them to get hold of it again, and there’s always the possibility that they won’t.<br /><br />We’re not gifted by default with infinite adaptability.<br /><br />And if the stick breaks, or even more importantly if one <i>perceives</i> the stick as breaking, because, really, the stick’s a fabrication, then one’s likely to encounter something really ugly.<br /><br />Which I'll talk about next time when I tell you about some of my students.]]></content:encoded>
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