Further plumbing the depths of the dreck I watched as a kid. Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards has to be the dreckiest of the bunch. David Brin is on record as calling it, "just about the most evil thing produced since Goebbels ran the Nazi propaganda mill."

Set two million years after World War III, when the Earth is divided between the lands of Scorch where the mutants live, and Montagar where the elves, dwarves and fairies live, a pair of twin brothers vies for control of the land. Avatar the Elf is all about magic and nature; and Blackwolf is all down with the technology and being EVIL. Unfortunately, Blackwolf’s mutant army sucks and it’s not until he can dig up some Nazi propaganda films that he’s able to make them into the fighting force he needs to take over the world.

The mere sight of Nazi propaganda freaks all the elves out, and the forces of Good look set to crumble. At which point Gandalf, I mean, Avatar decides to lead a small group (an elf with sharp teeth, a sexy fairy, and a reprogrammed android) into Scorch to confront Blackwolf.



The whole thing is like some third-rate Frazetta poster artist did his version of Lord of the Rings. Much of the footage Bakshi rotoscoped over is swiped from Eisenstein’s Alexander Nevsky. The character design and concept is lifted from the work of Vaughn Bode. (He of the Cheech Wizard and accidental auto-erotic asphyxiation fame.) The movie plays out like a grab bag of 70s Hippie kitsch vomited onto the screen.

Honestly, I have no idea how old I was when I first saw this movie. I do know I loved it. Elves, Nazis, and animated fairy women in bikinis -- oh boy, more scarification of the id. Since then I’ve probably seen it twice. This time, I couldn’t help but ask myself where the hell were my parents all those other times? (All I can think of is my brother and I were left with my grandmother for the day. She didn’t care what we watched and I saw all sorts of things I shouldn’t have. She also taught me how to play poker and mix a proper scotch and soda.)

Anyways, if you ever feel like trolling the gutters of Memory Lane try yourself some Wizards!

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